Waking up, I can still remember the dream I had where everything had changed.
But then, I got up first this morning, and as I eased down the hall toward my morning sanctuary, the coffee pot, while dodging the dog toys that litter the hallway and beckon my bare feet, I was faced again with the same situation that I managed to avoid last night. A sink full of dirty dishes.
I remember yesterday morning so clearly when I declared, no more leaving the sink full of dishes at night. Yet here I am, frustrated with my ability to initiate and sustain what should be a simple change.
It doesn’t matter what it is really – nightly dirty dishes, overeating, exercise, study, drinking too much, a time of meditation – every time an issue comes up, I make the same sort of confident declaration – From now on I am… I need to stop…, or I’ll never…. In the moment it seems so easy, but shortly after I am reminded that it will be a battle of will.
Why is it so hard to implement change in our lives?
There is more behind the struggle than you might think. Let’s look at a few factors that work against us:
Habitual patterns:
For instance, we have established habitual patterns that work against us. As humans, we are creatures of habit, and we tend to develop routines and patterns that feel comfortable and familiar. Breaking away from these patterns requires effort and a willingness to step out of our comfort zones.
Fear of the unknown:
Another obstacle we have to deal with is our fear of the unknown. Change often involves stepping into the unknown, which can be intimidating. Even if the change is important, the fear of failure, uncertainty, or the potential consequences of making a change wind up holding us back from taking action.
Lack of motivation:
Lack of motivation can be a huge obstacle to defeat. Making changes requires a degree of motivation and determination, not just to begin the process, but to sustain the changes we long to see. Fortunately, we can find motivation in a variety of sources including past experiences, support systems, and identified benefits.
Personal resistance:
Another obstacle to change is our personal resistance to change. Even if we recognize the need for change, we may still resist it. Change can disrupt our sense of stability and security, and our minds naturally resist situations that deviate from what we’re accustomed to. This resistance can manifest as procrastination, self-doubt, or a reluctance to embrace new circumstances.
Limiting beliefs:
Our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and what is possible can also influence our ability to make changes in our lives. If we hold limiting beliefs or have a negative self-image, we may struggle to believe that change is attainable or that we can make the necessary adjustments.
Environmental factors:
A final hurdle to sustaining change in our lives is related to environmental factors, things outside our immediate control. Unsupportive or negative people and factors in our environment can discourage or undermine our efforts, while a lack of resources or opportunities can make it harder to enact the desired changes.
IF you are struggling to make changes in your life, one thing that helps is having a support system to help hold you accountable. That’s one thing that having a professional coach can do. Coaches help us understand which of the obstacles to change are plaguing us and work with us to build systems of accountability so that the change can become reliable.
Think of how much better that first cup of coffee will be without the stress of last night’s dishes.
